Saying For Today: What matters is I, finally, could feel that even anger has a place in my embracing my full humanness, in honoring how Sacredness, how Grace, manifests in the human body.
Feel anger, but do not act it out harmfully. And do not go to bed at night still feeling anger.
*Ephesians 4.26 (Christian New Testament)
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Driving down the road, anger. Ironically, anger while going to serve spiritually patients. Yet, as one brought up with a double message - don't act angry for good boys and girls don't act angry, but parents have a right to act that way toward the children and preachers can yell "God's word" angrily from the pulpits on Sundays and teachers can yell at the kids and the "God" can get angry and angrily kill whomever He - always He - wants to to defend His justice and holiness and protect His people - He can even get angry at His people - His children - and slaughter them - no problem, He's God, and He can do no evil....- so was the message.
I recall one teacher from our little, rural school, an elementary teacher. She had a big book, which she kept at the back of the room. She would get it and hit kids over the back in anger. She was an authority, so that was apparently okay to slam kids with a big book. If a kid had hit her with a big book....
Anger was pervasive in my childhood and youth environment, and it was confusing, this double message. But, decades later, angry, and letting myself feel the anger almost all day, riding down the road, and witnessing it, not being it. I learned this witnessing through meditation, especially helpful was Tibetan teachings on meditation and compassion. The church, I certainly did not learn how to work with anger from - it was part of the double message.
Now, this day, no rage, no desire to hurt anyone, just a human feeling. Why? That does not matter here. What matters is I, finally, could feel that even anger has a place in my embracing my full humanness, in honoring how Spirit, how Grace, manifests in the human body. And, I was not feeling a "bad boy" or fearing punishment from a authoritarian, parental deity for my being fully human.
I am not less for feeling anger, I am human for feeling anger. Anger, however, I process inwardly and prayerfully, and I seek to let the anger speak to me - you know, anger, like all feelings, has a voice, has a wisdom. Again, Buddhism taught me how rich anger is with potential for transformation. Anger is something rich to work with. And anger always gives me insight, when I truly listen. Also, anger tells me I am hurting somewhere. And, when I get in touch with the anger and hurt, my heart can open in compassion more to the hurting and oft angry world in which I live as a human among other humans. And, we together can learn how to live more peaceful, less angry lives in Love.
Now, in a real sense, anger is neither good nor evil, anger is another feeling and, yes, needs to be listened to and processed as a part of our healing. Anger is okay, acting out to hurt anyone in anger is not right. Anger is okay, becoming an angry person is deadly.
Anger is transformed through compassion, not simply praying for some deity to have compassion on us, but we ourselves having compassion for ourselves. There really is only one Love, and loving yourself is ultimately the same as loving everyone. We are everybody, and everybody hurts. One of the best ways not to become an angry person is to learn to allow yourself to feel and look at the anger, and to remain conscious that anger is not you.
In an odd way, Love has an intimate relationship with anger. I think any good psychiatrist would tell you that. Sadly, many in religion moralistically have yet to help persons rightly process anger, for such religion has not itself seen or dealt with how pervasive anger is to such fundamentalist worldviews, and that rejecting anger simply does not work. Finally, Love is the transformer of anger into Love. Let Love weave something beautiful from the anger; let Love touch your pain and, in touching you, touch us all.
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*Lotus of the Heart is a Work of Arem Nahariim-Samadhi ~ a Hospice Chaplain, interspiritual author, writer, poet, and bicyclist. He is someone in love with Life and inviting others to that same ecstasy of Love ~ and, by the way, herein is nothing he claims as his own.
